Project: Living Room

 

I have a confession. My couch is trying to kill me. I haven’t reported it because, well, it’s a couch, and the police tend to look at you funny when you report things like that. Or look at the phone funny. Whatever, the point is, it makes me sound crazy. BUT I’M NOT. 

This couch, it is the most uncomfortable couch in the world. It’s like the Marquis de Sade was reincarnated as a sleeper sofa. You cannot sit on it for more than an hour without your spine hurting. If you would like to watch a movie, you may do so on the floor in front of the couch,  but not on the couch, because the couch will rearrange your vertebrae. I even tried putting some floor pillows I had on TOP of the cushions on the sofa to make it more comfortable. It just made it messier.

I have, as you may have guessed, been looking for a replacement for some time now, hindered only by

1. a tiny budget and 
2. same tiny budget and 
3. did I mention that sofas  are expensive?

But help in on the way!! My mom went and bought herself a new sofa and loveseat. Guess who gets the old ones?!? (It’ meee!) So I have not one but 2 new couch/sofa/settees/things coming my way and… I still haven’t painted the living room. Oh, and at some point, my husband’s desk came out into the living room, too. It’s a nice desk and I want it there, because it means he’s there, but it does present something of a design challenge. Also, computer towers are ugly. 

Anyway, back to the point, on Saturday, I get new seating! But I don’t know what color the living room should be. I’d like to repaint it Sunday so everything could be nice and new and glorious all at once. 

Hmm… I also need a new lamp (see this post on why we can’t have nice things). Ok, it looks like I’ve got a mission here. Better map it out.

Mission: New Living Room in One Weekend
Budget: $170.00

Target: New sofa
Status:  Requires rental of truck to acquire
Cost: free!

Target: Take Old, Evil Couch to Landfill
Status: Researched.
Cost: $35 (and now I understand why there is so much crap in the alley behind my apartment.)

Target: Rent Truck
Status: Working on it
Cost: $30

Target: Purchase New Ceiling-Mounted Lamp
Status: Still Dicking Around
Cost: up to $45

Target: Have Husband Install Ceiling Lamp
Status: Taken for Granted.
Cost: The love of a good woman. (Well, me.)

Target: Rearrange Furniture
Status: Floor Plan Acquired. Ready for Implementation.
Cost: $0

Target: Paint the room some other color than tarstain ivory.
Status: How long have I been planning this bit? I may just be lying to myself now.
Cost: $60

Ok, got the mission plan! But um….. I don’t know what color to paint my living-room. So…. I made a moodboard-thing to show you what is going in there and maybe you could help me out? 

Obviously, there are a few things in the room I didn't put on here. There' a TV, and a short entertainment center console thing it sits on. There's a coffee table I can't find a photo of anywhere. There's a shoe cubby, and a keyboard, and a couple of guitars on the wall (well, there should be- my brother-in-law seems to have confused "borrowing" and "burglary"). Oh, and a desk and computer chair. But, look, I didn't want to confuse things, so let's just PRETEND that the space will be nice and simple, ok?

And I need to paint the walls a color. Name a color. Seriously. Any color. 

Any. Damn. Color.

Bedbugs. (insert shudder here)

In case you’ve missed all the headlines, and the footlines and the in-between lines, there’s been a resurgence of bedbugs in this country. In the cheap motels, in the 5-star hotels, in the apartment complex I call home. What? Yes. I almost inadvertently adopted bedbugs. Don’t look at me like that!

You see, there was this abandoned chaise lounge in the common area of my apartment complex. Now, usually, I follow the law of “Thou shalt not adopt upholstered roadside furniture. Yea, there liest a path of deep regret and foul smells”.

 But this was a chaise lounge. I’ve ALWAYS wanted a chaise lounge. And it hadn’t been out long. So, I gave the hubs my very best “we need this” pitch and he rolled his eyes and gamely grabbed one end, and I grabbed the other and into the apartment it came. 

Not being COMPLETELY foolhardy, I decided it should sit next to the couch for a bit to see if it would play well with the rest of the furniture. So, we sat on the couch, the chaise sat next to us, and we watched television for a bit, me stealing giddy glances at my new chaise every now and then. 

And that’s when I saw it.  Looking like the ugliest miniscule penny-with-a-head-type-creature ever, a little bedbug poked its way out. And I screamed like a little girl. Well, ok, technically, I can’t scream. But I hollered and we hauled that thing outside double-quick (you have NEVER seen anyone move furniture that fast), then vacuumed every surface in the house, washed every stich of clothing we were wearing and showered. Because I am a good citizen, I took a marker and wrote “bedbugs” on the arm of the chaise once it was safely back outside.  It looked a little bit like “redrum” from The Shining, but I feel that’s all the better.

Why, yes, I did draw a cartoon bedbug because I'm too creeped out by them to post an actual photo of one. What?

So, in the end, boys and girls, heed the warnings given to thee by renters of yore “Thou shalt not adopt upholstered roadside furniture”. Verily, words to live by.

Shattered Dreams (or, less melodramatically, a broken lamp)

Guys? Guys? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I ignored you for months and months on end.
I'm sorry that my last post was a rant on semantics.
I'm sorry (really sorry) that my apartment still looks the way it does.

My brother-in-law moved in for a bit, and while he helped me with some things, having another person in the house kind of curtailed my house plans.

Also, I think possibly, that this apartment may never look decorated. I can't figure out what to do with the living room, but, "At least," I thought, "I've got that damn lamp situation sorted out."

Only to come home today and find out that the cat has shattered the damn lamp.
That took 3 tries to bring home. 



THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS. 



 (because we have cats)

The "F" Word

I’m going to veer a bit off theme here. If you are ONLY interested in interior design and DIY projects: walk away. You’ve been warned.

So on top of being decidedly handy and an all-around great gal to have at a party, I am a classically trained designer. “What does that mean?,” you say.

It means that not only did I pay a bunch of money to show an instructor (and occasionally, a professor) that I know how to use Photoshop, but that I also studied the theory behind the stuff I made. I took classes in drawing, in color theory, in visual communication and in typography (and in other stuff too). It’s this last that vexes me.

I did well in Typography. At least, I got a good grade in Typography. And there is no doubt in my mind that my Typography professor was a design genius. He hung around (and belongs with) living design legends in San Francisco. It’s just… teaching is maybe not his forte. I don’t think I learned much. And I may or may not have caused him to have a nervous breakdown that resulted in his taking a semester off. After his first semester.

Now, you should know that I am a pain in the ass for a student. I ask questions - lots of questions. And if you don’t have the answers, I expect you to help me find them. So if I think I’ve learned “a lot” in a class… well, most of the class’ heads have exploded.

So, knowing as I do that my knowledge of Typography is lacking, I’ve been working on it. I’ve been reading. And reading. And playing with designs. But you know what blows my damn mind?

“Fonts” and “typefaces”. Apparently, a “font” is a delivery device while a “typestyle” refers to the design it delivers. Did your head just explode? The best example of it is that a “Typestyle” is a song while a “Font” is an mp3.  Which does nothing for me.

So here’s my conclusion: I’m going to stop using the word “font”. As far as I can tell, it serves no real purpose. It USED to refer to a particular collection of the dies cast for a typeface. As there are no more dies (commercially), and all the digital renditions are more or less the same, we don’t need “font” anymore. I’m done!

The difference between “font” and “typeface” is henceforth as follows:

“Typeface” refers to a pretty set of letters like Mrs Eaves, Helvetica, or Times.

“Font” is its bastard cousin who we don’t invite to reunions or birthdays anymore because he peed on grandma in 1982. And by "peed on grandma" of course I mean "hasn't done a damn useful thing since".

You’re welcome.

It's getting red-hot up in this... kitchen.

I want a new trash can for the kitchen. I got a new kettle.  It’s red. And shiny. And wonderful. I mean, it’s not the Bauhaus kettle (see below for kettle perfection) but it was WAY less than $8,800 and no one will yell at me for boiling water in it.  Oh, and the hubs won’t let me buy Bauhaus things. He doesn’t like them. Or Eames chairs. Though it’s probably best that I don’t have any Eames chairs, or vertical bookshelves or the adorable Eames coat rack because then our house would have the same 3 pieces in it that every other designer’s homes have in them. They’re perfectly lovely things, but they’ve become a bit ubiquitous. (And, if I’m honest, expensive).

Anyway, tea kettles!

It’s art, see, so now you can’t use it. Which, since it’s from the Bauhaus period, is crazy-ironic.

As it happens, you cannot remove rust from a tea kettle with vinegar. It goes badly, don’t do it. I sort of destroyed the stainless steel tea kettle. So… we needed a new one. And I went into Marshall’s (like T.J. Maxx or Ross if you haven’t been), which randomly has a really good kitchen supply section. And excellent tea. Anyway, I found a RED KETTLE. It’s beautiful and it was only $25.

Somehow, I managed not to take a photo of it in my kitchen, so the stock photo will have to do for now. Anyway, if you want one JUST like it, it’s $25 here, too. I could actually do a dissertation on tea kettle design. This one's not perfect. It's good. Water boils, it whistles, the top flips open without burning your hand, water come out without turning the thing upside-down, and it's shiny red. It's $25. What do more do want?

But, but, anyway, I was reading Anna @ Door Sixteen’s post on beautiful things and she showed this trash can that she loves. And I actually love the cheaper version that she wasn’t as fond of because, wait for it, it comes in shiny RED!

We currently have an annoying flap-top trash can in the kitchen that gets dirty and is just kind of gross (think the metal ones at the zoo, but less retro-cool and more nondescript plastic).

So I need to convince the hubs that it is reasonable to spend $99 on a trash can. And that we should get a step-operated one again. (The last one broke and then he hated it. Mostly because it was broken).

I’m currently completely reveling in the red-ness of my kettle. It’s like a smile on my stove! I believe that a red trash can might bring me similar joy. Or at least, less disgust, which is really all I’m looking for just now.

Have a lovely day!

I just realized...

I just realized that I'm basically trying to overhaul every space in my apartment for a grand total of under $850. Not including a sofa. Which actually might not be so bad, since my crappy sofa does remind me not to spend my life sitting on it. In fact, I may have only started doing this project BECAUSE my sofa is uncomfortable after aobut 90 minutes. So thanks, uncomfortable sofa. Anyway.

The breakdown:

Paint: $209
I need 6 gallons and 1 quart of paint to do the 3 rooms I'm going to do. The kitchen has been abandoned for the foreseeable future as just thinking aobut the amount of sanding required to make that mess look good brings me to tears.

Furniture: $312
This involves a DIY headboard project, reupholserting and refinishing the dining room chairs, getting a new occaisional table for the bedroom, and a new lamp and chair for the livingroom. It does not address the sorry state of our poor sofa.

Decor: $301
Included in this rather long list are a filng cabinet revamp (done!), refinishing some wall cubes(done), upgrading the knobs on the kitchen cabinets(done), framing several pictures, creating a kitchen mat, and adding a few small accent pieces.

Total: $822
Give or take a few dollars for crafty thriftiness... given my income after taxes, I'll have to work 69 hours to finance this total project. Which actually isn't too bad. I'm keeping track of the expenses as I go along, both the savings and the, um, non-scheduled purchases.

There’s A War On in This Kitchen

So, I have a vision for my kitchen.

And it involves submarines, propaganda, and war.

World War II, to be exact. As a graphic designer, sometimes, I get attached to funny things. Like propaganda posters. WWII had some of the greatest propaganda posters of all time. And I would like 2 of them in my dining room. I got the idea watching the credits to Captain America.

Because I do stay and watch the credits of every movie I go to- they’re cool, I sort of want that job. In that I’d love that job if it weren’t absolutely certainly in either L.A. or New York. Because I hate L.A. (It’s ok to visit, but living there? No.) and I don’t do snow. I just don’t. I can take high heat with aplomb, but cold hurts my ears.

Anyway, there was this cool credit screen with planes on a yellow sky. Unfortunately, it was riffed from a poster involving a rather sinister-looking Hitler caricature (as if there were any other kind) so I can’t really have that one. (I can’t take things staring at me from the walls.)

Instead, I found 2 posters I do like, that have no one at all staring from them, and plan on putting them on either side of the rather magnificent wall cubes that I refinished.

Inside the wall cubes, incidentally, are also WWII-themed things. I love vintage soda bottles, so there some of my burgeoning collection up there, and my husband wants to put together a WWII model airplane (he’s into models, I’m into this idea- magic).

The chairs and dining table were cast-offs from a family friend, as were the rather-awful chair covers. They didn’t even like the chair covers. The only beings who like the chair covers are my cats, who will be very sad to see them go.

We would have just taken off the chair covers, but the chairs, well…

So, time for another DIY project! I found the "perfect" fabric to go on the chair seats. Just the right mix of Americana (the colors) and not (everything else about it). The chairs themselves are going to be sanded and stained with the same stuff used on the wall cubes and the microwave hutch. It’s gonna be sweet.

The kitchen, which I was pondering painting (and am not gonna just now, as it’s a HUGE project of sanding, masking and painting), is getting a little pick-me-up with new, red cabinet and drawer knobs. Got ‘em at ACE for 1.50 or so per pair and a can of Rust-o-leum in fabulous shiny red for $3 and so for $23, my kitchen gets a perk.

I also saw this great rug version of the now-ubiquitous “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster at Anthropologie.

But it is EXPANSIVE(I want a kitchen mat, not an area rug) and EXPENSIVE ($498.00- are you serious?). Plus, when reviewed, apparently it falls apart.

CostPlus World Market has this one for $30….

But I kind of hate that it’s sideways. So… I think I’m going to make one. I’ve made the stencil in illustrator, now I just need to print it out using my Silohuette and paint the $3 rug I got at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart may be destroying the economy, but they’re just so… irresistible.

Then I just have to decide whether or not the utensil-holder gets repainted candy-apple-red as well.

It does look nice its as-bought, black-bronze state, but it doesn’t really GO with the theme of the kitchen. Which is shiny red. And other stuff. It’s like a theme, only looser and less directed. (Kind of like me…)

Anyway, that’s the plan for waging a war in my kitchen.

Stay tuned…