Plants - a short-term commitment

Hi! I’m still alive, I’m here, I swear! I just… got busy. And kind of depressed (maybe we’ll go into that someday. I’m not feeling up to it just now).

Mostly I was busy? Let’s go with that. So busy, in fact, that we kind of let the porch get entirely out of hand and the landlords left us a note about it on our door. Because they don’t believe in mail. And…. Maybe it was a little justified.

I killed the plants. Again. We need new patio furniture. Or, you know, ACTUAL patio furniture. Also we gave up on sweeping the damned leaves off the porch for a few weeks (months).

Plants: You know how some people are so good with plants, they seem to have a green thumb? I have a black thumb. I’ve kept a little desk plant alive at my office for a year now. That’s a lifetime record for a potted plant. And I think it’s due more to the plant’s tenacity than my care. You go, little plant!

Our porch gets NO direct sunlight. Which is maybe good in a porch? But bad for plants. I keep trying to buy  “shade” plants, but mostly that’s gone badly. I had rosemary originally that my dad bought me because “you CAN’T kill this stuff”. Um, no. YOU can’t kill this stuff. I was clearly up to the challenge.

Then I got night-blooming jasmine because, hey, night-blooming must not be too keen on sunlight, right? Nope, turns out it needs lots during the day.

Then I got what I REALLY wanted, which was lavender. That died the fastest. So I looked up shade plants and was told that Arabian Jasmine was a shade varietal and would looove the shade. I love Jasmine, so I got them. And killed them. Apparently, they also like water. And attention.

Ok, I need a live plant that needs no sunlight, little water, and only passing attention. I settled on… Ficus Trees! I figure that if they can survive in a dentist’s waiting room, they’ve got a shot on my porch. After almost an hour of sweeping up those damn leaves (the big trees around our complex dump them on the ground) and planting the trees in the pots we have with some shade-loving impatiens for color… it looks nice. I like it. 

The pot to the left are back-up flowers. In case the main
flowers die. Really, the odds aren't good for any of them.

Now I just need to refinish the table and get some actual outdoor chairs (instead of unloved, starting-to-rot, falling apart at the seams wooden dining chairs) and I think we’ll be in business!