Thursday, May 31, 2012

Project: Living Room

I have a confession. My couch is trying to kill me. I haven’t reported it because, well, it’s a couch, and the police tend to look at you funny when you report things like that. Or look at the phone funny. Whatever, the point is, it makes me sound crazy. BUT I’M NOT. 

This couch, it is the most uncomfortable couch in the world. It’s like the Marquis de Sade was reincarnated as a sleeper sofa. You cannot sit on it for more than an hour without your spine hurting. If you would like to watch a movie, you may do so on the floor in front of the couch,  but not on the couch, because the couch will rearrange your vertebrae. I even tried putting some floor pillows I had on TOP of the cushions on the sofa to make it more comfortable. It just made it messier.
I have, as you may have guessed, been looking for a replacement for some time now, hindered only by
  1. a tiny budget and 
  2. same tiny budget and 
  3. did I mention that sofas  are expensive?
But help in on the way!! My mom went and bought herself a new sofa and loveseat. Guess who gets the old ones?!? (It’ meee!) So I have not one but 2 new couch/sofa/settees/things coming my way and… I still haven’t painted the living room. Oh, and at some point, my husband’s desk came out into the living room, too. It’s a nice desk and I want it there, because it means he’s there, but it does present something of a design challenge. Also, computer towers are ugly. 

Anyway, back to the point, on Saturday, I get new seating! But I don’t know what color the living room should be. I’d like to repaint it Sunday so everything could be nice and new and glorious all at once. 

Hmm… I also need a new lamp (see this post on why we can’t have nice things). Ok, it looks like I’ve got a mission here. Better map it out.

Mission: New Living Room in One Weekend
Budget: $170.00

Target: New sofa
Status:  Requires rental of truck to acquire
Cost: free!

Target: Take Old, Evil Couch to Landfill
Status: Researched.
Cost: $35 (and now I understand why there is so much crap in the alley behind my apartment.)

Target: Rent Truck
Status: Working on it
Cost: $30

Target: Purchase New Ceiling-Mounted Lamp
Status: Still Dicking Around
Cost: up to $45

Target: Have Husband Install Ceiling Lamp
Status: Taken for Granted.
Cost: The love of a good woman. (Well, me.)

Target: Rearrange Furniture
Status: Floor Plan Acquired. Ready for Implementation.
Cost: $0

Target: Paint the room some other color than tarstain ivory.
Status: How long have I been planning this bit? I may just be lying to myself now.
Cost: $60

Ok, got the mission plan! But um….. I don’t know what color to paint my living-room. So…. I made a moodboard-thing to show you what is going in there and maybe you could help me out? 

Obviously, there are a few things in the room I didn't put on here. There' a TV, and a short entertainment center console thing it sits on. There's a coffee table I can't find a photo of anywhere. There's a shoe cubby, and a keyboard, and a couple of guitars on the wall (well, there should be- my brother-in-law seems to have confused "borrowing" and "burglary"). Oh, and a desk and computer chair. But, look, I didn't want to confuse things, so let's just PRETEND that the space will be nice and simple, ok?

And I need to paint the walls a color. Name a color. Seriously. Any color. 
Any. Damn. Color.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Bedbugs. (insert shudder here)

In case you’ve missed all the headlines, and the footlines and the in-between lines, there’s been a resurgence of bedbugs in this country. In the cheap motels, in the 5-star hotels, in the apartment complex I call home. What? Yes. I almost inadvertently adopted bedbugs. Don’t look at me like that!
You see, there was this abandoned chaise lounge in the common area of my apartment complex. Now, usually, I follow the law of “Thou shalt not adopt upholstered roadside furniture. Yea, there liest a path of deep regret and foul smells”.

 But this was a chaise lounge. I’ve ALWAYS wanted a chaise lounge. And it hadn’t been out long. So, I gave the hubs my very best “we need this” pitch and he rolled his eyes and gamely grabbed one end, and I grabbed the other and into the apartment it came. 

Not being COMPLETELY foolhardy, I decided it should sit next to the couch for a bit to see if it would play well with the rest of the furniture. So, we sat on the couch, the chaise sat next to us, and we watched television for a bit, me stealing giddy glances at my new chaise every now and then. 

And that’s when I saw it.  Looking like the ugliest miniscule penny-with-a-head-type-creature ever, a little bedbug poked its way out. And I screamed like a little girl. Well, ok, technically, I can’t scream. But I hollered and we hauled that thing outside double-quick (you have NEVER seen anyone move furniture that fast), then vacuumed every surface in the house, washed every stich of clothing we were wearing and showered. Because I am a good citizen, I took a marker and wrote “bedbugs” on the arm of the chaise once it was safely back outside.  It looked a little bit like “redrum” from The Shining, but I feel that’s all the better.

Why, yes, I did draw a cartoon bedbug because I'm too creeped out by them to post an actual photo of one. What?

So, in the end, boys and girls, heed the warnings given to thee by renters of yore “Thou shalt not adopt upholstered roadside furniture”. Verily, words to live by.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Shattered Dreams (or, less melodramatically, a broken lamp)

Guys? Guys? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I ignored you for months and months on end.
I'm sorry that my last post was a rant on semantics.
I'm sorry (really sorry) that my apartment still looks the way it does.

My brother-in-law moved in for a bit, and while he helped me with some things, having another person in the house kind of curtailed my house plans.

Also, I think possibly, that this apartment may never look decorated. I can't figure out what to do with the living room, but, "At least," I thought, "I've got that damn lamp situation sorted out."

Only to come home today and find out that the cat has shattered the damn lamp.
That took 3 tries to bring home. 


 (because we have cats)